How to Stop Fear From Derailing You

Fear is a peculiar yet potent thing. 

It shows up in many different ways.

And, if you don't question why it's there in the first place, you could become blocked for a very long time.

So, I'm going to share with you one of the most potent and easiest ways to overcome your fear.

But first, a story to illustrate my point ;)

Last night, I heard from an old friend in Australia.

Someone I met during a women's empowerment retreat I spoke at, a few years back. 

My friend was telling me about her husband's sudden illness and what she'd been experiencing.

Because his illness is aggressive, she's had a lot of new challenges to face.

Her biggest battle is balancing being his carer while maintaining her own identity AKA not losing herself in the process.

I felt deep compassion for her.

She's only a couple years older than my mother.

It is a lot to handle for anyone, at any age.

So, I conveyed my empathy and sent her a message of encouragement.

A couple of messages later and our short exchange had finished. 

Or, so I thought.

But, Spirit had other plans.

I put my phone down, walked across my bedroom, and thought about how tough it would be to manage that situation and stay balanced.

And, that's when Spirit whispered in my ear.

"Do more art."

I knew what it meant and I knew it was a message for my friend.

[I learned a long time ago never to judge the message but *BE* the messenger]

I went straight back to my phone, picked it up, and typed: 'Hmmm just heard: Do more art'

She shot a reply in an instant; Yes just talking to a friend in Spain and she is an artist and telling me the same thing. lol You are onto it.

I tuned into my friend's energy field and saw a huge energetic concrete-like block around her.

I understood it's meaning in an instant.

A big fat power block.

Another text arrived.

I have a bit of a block at the moment. Looking into what the hold up is. Almost like a fear.

I almost laughed.

It was a LOT more than a “bit of a block“!

I knew what it was, but I had to wrap words around what I could feel and see.

Her specific power block was made up of 9 deep fears that I could sense she was experiencing.

So, I sent her a message with the list.

Then I waited.

Her reply lit up my screen, moments later.

Oh yes babe you are onto it. So much fear. I wasn't even aware till you said it. 

Followed by a shorter message; I so appreciate that. Made me cry.

So, I sent another text. 

This message was infused with Ancient Egyptian Alchemy so she could see things for what they were and open her mind.

I also described a new place to do art that will help her creative flow and give her healing.

Now, I have no idea where she lives or what her property looks like, but shared my message anyway.

[Like a good little messenger…]

And, she came back with: Yes. It's outside my door. I know where it is.

She also sent a video of her current art studio and the new place I described which was right outside the studio.

Fresh air, sunlight, nature, bird song, and some other things.

It was peaceful and perfect for her needs.

I could feel that she was already feeling more expansive and I smiled to myself.

As if by cue, she responded; Thank you so much. Something has shifted. I feel lighter.

Before I signed off, I asked her one question.

How long have you felt blocked with your artwork?

Her response: Since 2020.

Four long, soul-destroying years.

Fear has a lot to answer for.

The reason I shared this story with you is to show you how fast fear can take a hold of your life, if you let it.

Fear is sneaky in that it tends to creep up on you and take a stronghold without you realizing.

Until it's too late.

General fear is especially sneaky. 

It's a big feeling of fear, without any clarity about what type(s) of fear exactly.

Think about it.

If you say you fear something, what does that actually mean?

Are you feeling:

• Scared?

• Anxious?

• Dread?

• Hopelessness?

• Insecure?

• Submissive?

• Rejected?

• Humiliated?

• Blocked?

Fear is insidious and all these varied emotions relate to fear.

Of course, there are more emotions than those listed, but you get the point.

This is why one of the best things you can do for yourself is learn how to dismantle your fear.

Dismantling Fear Method

First, let me give you an overview.

You've got to get to the heart of the matter and work out the precise emotion that is causing your fear.

Because, once you can name it, you can claim it.

You can reclaim the power out of that emotional energy.

Not knowing what the emotion is, is what causes unsettledness and uncertainty.

These two emotions cause you to doubt yourself because they are both related.

[See what I mean about the sneaky nature of fear, how it creeps up on you...]

Anyway, once you've isolated the actual, underlying emotion, now you have more clarity.

You can then think about what steps are necessary to counter the fear.

And, if you're serious about kicking fear's butt to the curb, you can go and take big action like the badass you know you are!

Here's an example of it in action:

Let's say I am fearful of public speaking.

Whenever I imagine speaking to an audience, my adrenalin skyrockets, I freeze up, and I break out in a cold sweat.

I could leave this as a big feeling of fear and never do anything about it, because it feels overwhelming.

Or, I could say, 'Let's dismantle this bullshit keeping me from my greatness!'

So, when I sit with the idea of speaking in public and what is behind that fear, I notice a feeling of humiliation.

I realize that more than the act itself, it is the fear of humiliation that makes me feel hesitant.

[Hello clarity…. Goodbye unsettledness and uncertainty...]

Now that I know what it is, I can dig further.

Why do I think I would be humiliated?

Hmmm, I would have to either:

Be unorganized - Well, that's not going to happen. I would prepare. I always prepare.

Look like a fool by forgetting what I am doing or saying - Sure that could happen buuuuut it's not like the sky would fall. Besides, people are more forgiving than I am giving them credit for.

Inadequate - Ooh now we're getting somewhere. People might find out that I don't have what it takes. But, again, whilst I may FEEL that, it doesn't mean it's actually true.

See how the case for fear is becoming weaker?

Knowing what the exact emotions are underneath it, helps you to talk yourself down to normality.

You begin to question if the story you have around the event is actually true.

And, you begin to realize you've created a big, bad wolf scenario.

Which is cute and very human…

Especially when there aren't even any wolves in sight and you've never even seen one!

[And, no, wolf sanctuaries do not count!]

Next, with my newfound clarity, I would think on what actions I could take to counter my fear.

What are some power moves I could make to overcome my fear of public speaking?

I have several options.

Bronze Level: I could start recording videos of myself talking. I can keep these videos on my phone and no one else needs to see them. By doing this, I would feel good about taking the first step.

Silver Level: I could record some videos of myself talking and post them on my social media. This way, I would have an audience who can listen to me, even if it is pre-recorded. 

Gold Level: If I want a more interactive experience, I could do a Livestream on my preferred social media. Now I am speaking to a global audience. In some ways it's more intimate because I can reach each person where they are.

Total Powerhouse Move: I could sign up with Toastmasters and decide to master this skill once and for all, and make it my.... friend.

So, because I got clarity on what exactly was causing the fear of public speaking, I could then make a plan to counter it.

And, by giving myself different options, I could choose one action to take. 

Or, I could work my way up each level, week by week.

Long story short, with a little bit of practice, commitment and some determination, I'd be public speaking within the next couple of months or so.

No more derailing for me.

As a great man once said:

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it."

- Nelson Mandela

Remember, Fearless Leaders aren't born; they are made.

Embrace your fears and dismantle them to get clarity.

Then make the choices that lead you to your highest potential.

2024 is YOUR year to revolutionize your life.

You are destined for greatness, and fear is just a stepping stone on your path to the stars.